Settling Into A New Home…
One of our first breeders ever, Dandelion, who is now happily retired in Washington with his new brother. We’ll love you forever, Dandy!
Recently, I saw a Facebook post from someone I knew that was having a hard to acclimating their new cat. This cat came from overseas, which admittedly, can be a long and traumatic journey for the cat. But no matter what she did, this cat was not warming up to her at all. It was biting, scratching, hissing. She posted about this cat’s behavior about a week and a half after it had first arrived.
It’s perfectly normal to want/expect a cuddly and happy kitten immediately, and as breeders, that is something we definitely work for. Socialization should start early. But that’s not always the case and it doesn’t necessarily mean a difficult cat is a lost cause. Some kittens are born with more shy personalities and struggle to adapt as quickly, while some older adult cats go to new homes have a hard time with the drastic change.
When Venus (Venera) arrived to our home from Belarus, she was shy and unfriendly as well. She hissed when we got too close and would run away immediately, so during her quarantine period, we mostly left her alone. She got along fine with the other cat she came with (and that other cat was much friendlier to us), so we knew she wasn’t lonely. But I wasn’t going to give up on her at all.
In two short months (with one of them being in quarantine), Venus now sleeps on my bed every single night and yells at me when I don’t pet her enough. As I’m typing this, she is loafed up next to me. Here’s what I did to facilitate such a change in her so quickly:
Give the cat some space, but not too much space.
Venus actually arrived at our home at a pretty bad time. About 50% of our house was still in boxes, because we had just moved! We didn’t have a solid room for her to hang out in yet (as things were being painted, changes, and moved around), so we set her up in multiple connected foldable hexagon playpens. This gave her enough space to explore on her own and get used to the smells of the house, and to get used to our voice and movements nearby. We also threw in a few old towels and well-worn clothes.
In an ideal situation, it would be best to actually keep your new cat in a small room with a closed door. We normally suggest a bathroom that isn’t being used, as bathrooms are easy to clean (just in case) and there are a few hiding spots (like behind the toliet)! With enough space, it gives the cat enough room to explore and to feel more “normal” in their space. Do not cage the cat, do not put them in a small space with no place to hide. This will only exacerbate any fears they may have, especially if they’re not able to hide. Cats need to come out in their own time, and will hide until they’re comfortable.
As they get more comfortable with the space, you can spend more time with them in there to let them know you’re not a threat. And as they get comfortable with you, you can start introducing them to other rooms in the house (or to other pets).
Food is key.
The best way for a cat to actually perceive that you aren’t a threat comes down to one simple thing: “Do you feed and play with me?” It’s really that simple, usually. You know how people say that the fastest way to a man’s heart is through the stomach? Well.. cats are about the same. Venus warmed up to us almost ENTIRELY through Churus and freeze dried treats. I know that sounds ridiculous, but once she realized I was like her mom — feeding her, she stopped being so afraid. The first time she took a Churu from me, I knew she was ready to acclimate further into our home.
With a new cat, they may be hesitant to first eat around you. So bring them their food every single day and watch closely (or through a camera) to ensure that they are eating and drinking food. You can also just periodically check their litter box to ensure that they’re digesting everything and that they’re not having an issues.
Eventually, start sitting in the room with the cat as you bring them food. Stay low to the ground (like sit on the floor or even lay down), and do your own thing. Read a book, scroll your phone, finish up some work on a laptop. The less you can move, the better. The more often you do this, the more likely the cat will get used to your presence and start coming out for food and eating near you. Once they start doing that, they’re probably sniffing you up. A great trick I learned from Jackson Galaxy was to let your cat smell the legs of your glasses. Since they sit behind your ears (where you easily build up skin cells, sweat, and wax), your scent is very much embedded in them. Try feeding them from your hand. Whether that’s with Churu-type treats or with a spoon, or just with your bare hand (watch out for bites).
No sudden movements, no loud noises, no reactions.
These are probably some obvious ones, but do not yell near or AT your new cat. Don’t make sudden movements that would frighten them, such as running towards them or try to catch them to get their attention. Cats need time to realize you aren’t going to harm them, and any loud noises or movements may just frighten them further into distrusting you. Even now, Venus will jump a bit if you make a noise or a movement that is too loud or too quick for her (from us or from the other cats).
It’s very important to remember to go slow with new cats. Walk into their space slowly, put the food down slowly, cats have much more sensitive ears than we do. That is why I suggest to sit next to the cat and do quiet activities. Over time, when a cat is finally eating out of your hand (through a spoon, Churu, etc), see if you can gently raise your arm and pet them while they do so. We found that Venus adores butt scratches in this process! Of course, avoid forcing interactions, as this can make the cat feel threatened and prolong the acclimation process.
DO NOT introduce a resident pet if you have a shy cat still acclimating to the space, especially if it’s a dog or an aggressive cat!! You can always have them meet and get used to each other afterwards, but the cat needs to trust you first. Too many new things at once will just be stressful for the cat.
Routine, routine, routine.
Do everything on a routine. Clean the room, feed them, empty out their litterbox, play sessions, cuddling.. All at the same time. This gives the cat some understanding when you’re going to be there, so they know what to expect. All cats actually have their own routines already! While they may seem like free spirits, they’re actually creatures of habit. Routine provides safety and security.
Moving to a new home can be pretty traumatic for a shy cat, and the interruption of their routine only adds to the stress and trauma. Think about it — routines are pretty important for humans too. Structure and stability gives us confidence, and we build efficient and helpful lives around our routines.
Most importantly.. give it time.
This is the biggest tip I can give.
You can do everything right but if you don’t give it enough time, a cat may never properly acclimate if they don’t feel safe around you and your home. Patience is truly a virtue in this case.
Venus may have taken two months to fully warm up to us, but it may take your cat a week or half a year. No matter how long it takes, I believe in you. Don’t give up prematurely without exhausting all of your options. Winning a cat’s love and loyalty is one of the best feelings ever.
Isn’t Venus a beauty?
Whew! This was a difficult write up because Venus was burying her face in my arms and covering up my screen with her butt the whole time. I think she’s trying to tell me to stop typing and to give her some love. SO, I’ll catch you guys later. Ta-ta! ;)